A Sob of Relief

Since Tuesday, I’ve been good about limiting my time watching CNN, checking Twitter, and refreshing the New York Times election results page (which doesn’t really need refreshing, but I couldn’t resist anyway – just to make sure.) I’ve come up with a daily schedule where that type of activity is restricted to certain blocks of the day. In other words, I’ve been focused on self-care.

However, my schedule has not prevented me from thinking about the results and how I would react once those results were known. Tuesday evening I was thinking I was going to delete my Twitter account, cancel my newspaper subscriptions, and not ever vote again. These thoughts were not serious on my part (I don’t think), but they honestly did cross my mind. 

As preliminary results dribbled in over the next couple of days and certain states turned from red to blue, a sense of relief starting building inside of me, and I thought maybe things would turn out okay. But I kept my emotions in check. 

Today I knew more results were coming in – results that would most likely push things over the edge. When Dave texted me that another batch from Pennsylvania was coming in, I decided to break my schedule and turn on the TV.

My reaction, when CNN announced the race, took me by surprise.

I immediately broke down into uncontrollable sobs. 

The nightmare of these past four years will not continue, and, rather than getting darker, the world looks like it will be getting a little brighter.

These past four years, I’ve lost a lot of faith in America. Donald Trump is a divisive, destructive, dangerous, and despicable human being. (I’m not going to defend that statement here. Either you agree with me or you don’t. Nothing I say will change your mind.)  We knew that to a very real extent in 2016 and even more so now after four years of his administration. So, the fact that so many Americans continued to support him and Republican senators stood behind him has been embarrassing on a national level. And on an individual level, even if you buy into his polices (which, okay) or disagree with Biden’s policies, I have a really hard time with you if you voted for Trump this year. 

But now 74,488,666 Americans have voted for Joe Biden so far. Over 4 million more than voted for Trump. I wish the differential had been far greater and it hadn’t been this close, and I wish we had thrown out McConnell and Graham, but the end result makes me feel a tiny bit better about America and her future.

And I’m sobbing in my relief.

https://twitter.com/JoeBiden/status/1325118992785223682

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7 Responses

  1. Kristine Pelletier says:

    Well said Mich, time to exhale and enjoy!

  2. Sharon says:

    Feeling the same way. Such relief !!!

  3. Michelle Gemma says:

    👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Thank you for sharing. I can finally breathe and move forward.

  4. Joanne G Verkuilen says:

    we were with our friends the Fitzgerald’s, with their two African American adopted children, hiking at the White Water Raftkng Center. I was the only one standing by with the phone and holding the dogs. When I saw the news come through I literally shouted at the top of my lungs to tell them what had happened. And as soon as I said that I also followed it with we have the first female vice president It was pure joy. My entire body was goosebumps. As Van Jones from CNN said, it’s easier to be a parent it’s easier to be an American. We partied for the rest of the day and night until about 3 AM. Along with our Biden Harris Carvel cake, decorated so carefully by Abby. Tears are still coming today.

  5. Gail M Lontine says:

    I agree with every word you said and felt exactly the same way. Thanks for putting my thoughts into words!

  6. susancolt says:

    I couldn’t agree more. I can breathe and and my heart can start healing. I sobbed Wednesday morning in despair and Saturday morning in pure joy and relief – or whatever you said:)

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